1. A first breath of China

In the early days of this millennium, I graduated university in England and set out for a new life in China. Here, I share the quiet stories of my journey, a chronicle of discovery and displacement, woven into the fabric of a land vast and unfathomable.

INTRODUCTION | NEXT CHAPTER

The plane dips through the haze of a foreign sky , its engines humming with a muted insistence. As the landing gear creaking into position, Beijing stretches out beneath us, a vast tangle of streets and blocks - narrow lanes caught between sharp angles of concrete, punctuated by brief and irregular patches of green.

The air presses in, heavy. As we descend, an odd feeling stirs - a sense of being adrift. This place, until now, had only existed in fragments: the stories of others, glimpses from history’s edges, the photograph in the pages of a newly-purchased guidebook.

I’m twenty-one, still unsure of how I came to be here. Teaching English, they say - though I haven’t quite convinced myself that I’m ready for it. The notion of teaching a language so laden with nuance, with an entire culture woven into each word, makes me nervous. And yet, here I am - alone, thousands of miles from home, on a plane to Beijing, about to step into a world I only half know, armed with little more than a suitcase, a guitar, and the thin optimism of youth.

As the aircraft doors open, the heat greets me like a wave - a heavy, moist breath of air that smells faintly of smog. The airport is vast, but its scale slips away in the confusion - voices and bodies all folding into one. In the distance, I see the gleaming arches of the arrivals hall, Chinese characters stretching across the walls like elegant strokes of ink, inscrutable and calm amidst the chaos.

I move with the crowd, part of the current, until I catch sight of a young woman holding a sign: Rolls-Royce¹ English Teachers. Her face is unreadable, but there’s something there, an impatience or perhaps just the weight of waiting. Her eyes meet mine, flickering briefly, and in that moment there’s a silent understanding, a foreigner seeking something in her presence - answers, or just a point of reference in the strange city that is already beginning to take hold of me.

“You’re one of the teachers?” she asks, her accent thick but clear. Her name is Li Mei, and she is quick to usher me and a small group of other British arrivals through the airport's labyrinthine corridors. I am grateful for the silence that hangs between us, my thoughts still spinning like the engines of the plane.

The minibus ride into the city feels like a silent observation from behind glass. The roads are wide, sprawling, and the buildings are taller than anything I’m accustomed to. The skyline is an odd juxtaposition of the ancient and the new - high-rise apartment blocks jostling for space next to squat, colonial buildings of faded, ill grandeur. The streets are dense with motion, the honking of horns, the occasional burst of laughter from street vendors, the rattle of bicycles threading through traffic.

As we move through the city, a sense of dislocation tightens in me. This is not Yorkshire, not England, not any place I’ve ever known. It has its own breath, as though it exists apart from everything I’ve carried with me. It feels both foreign and strangely familiar, and I find myself caught somewhere in between - neither fully watching nor truly belonging. I am just a body drifting in the gap, unsure of where I fit in this world that’s unfolding all around me.

We arrive at our hotel in the late afternoon, a modest building with faded cream walls and a slightly worn air. The lobby is cool, the marble floor gleaming under the fluorescent lights, though there is a certain tiredness to it, like a place that has seen more guests than it cares to remember. The check-in is a blur of brief exchanges, and then we’re shown to our rooms.

Later, I venture out on my own, my steps unsure on the cracked pavement. The street hums with life, its shops spilling light. Neon signs in Chinese and occasional English flicker against the dusk. I linger at a corner stall where a man in a small white cap hunches over a small flame, turning skewers of meat with practiced hands. The smell rises in waves - smoky, rich with unknown spices. His face is worn, the years etched deeply around his eyes, and when he lifts his gaze, it meets mine with a kind of curious recognition.

I point at the skewers, unsure of what I’m asking for, but he understands. He hands me the skewer, which is tender with a delicate sweetness I hadn’t expected. I nod my thanks, pay him with a single coin and the old man watches me with an inscrutable expression before turning back to his fire.

The streets pulse with an energy that is unfamiliar to me, a constant stream of voices and movement. I feel like an intruder here, surrounded by a world I cannot yet follow. But there is something in the air, something in the simple, unspoken interactions with these people - a recognition, perhaps, that we are all just passing through this moment in time.

I return to the hotel that evening, my mind spinning, unsettled by the city’s vastness. It seems too large, too intricate to grasp, yet as I sit on the edge of the bed, a certain stillness creeps in. This is no mere place of beginnings, it is one of transformation. The streets, the people, the language, they are already working their way into the shape of my life, altering something I hadn’t quite known was there.

For now, I am simply another thread in the pattern, trying to find my place in the pulse of China.

A Moment of Gratitude

If the words of Ill Grandeur have resonated with you, consider buying me a cup of tea. In China, tea is more than just a drink - it is a symbol of connection, warmth, and reflection. A one-off tea is a way of sharing in the journey, supporting the story, and keeping the spirit of discovery alive. Every cup helps bring the next chapter to life.

1. Rather than referring colloquially to our quality as teachers, Rolls-Royce is the company sponsoring our employment here in China through their contracts with China’s Civil Aviation Authority - we’ll be teaching at one of their colleges.